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Amanda
30 May 2008 @ 04:41 pm
from altfriday5
1. What sorts of small, inconsequential chores do you find it difficult to motivate to complete?
Dusting. It's so pointless. You turn around and there's dust collecting where you just dusted~

2. How do you handle this? Do you incent yourself somehow? Recruit help in keeping track or motivating yourself? Just not do them? Something else?
Don't do it unless it's so disgusting even the dust bunnies are moving out

3. What sorts of small, inconsequential chores do you not think twice about completing?
Dishes, straightening, laundry, lawn mowing...

4. What BIG tasks do you postpone for long periods of time?
Uh, usually nothing important.

5. How do you handle it if/when the deadline for one of these big tasks passes without your completing it?
If there is a deadline I hit it!


from thefridayfive

"With the following phrases, post a single image of the strongest thought/idea that pops into your head."

1.) Favorite Food:


2.) Least Favorite Food:


3.) Favorite Thing:


4.) Least Favorite Thing:


5.) A phobia:


6.) An addiction:
 
 
Amanda
25 December 2007 @ 11:08 pm
Someone left a comment on a comment that I left on their LJ that totally made me understand how I feel about Adam and why I've been so psychotic over the past weekend. (And I haven't documented the psychotic behavior because I don't want to, but trust me, I was CRAZY!)

She wrote: I can't stand not having any infuence over my lovelife and being unimportant to the other person.


It just sums it up right there. I don't care if you love me, hate me, think I'm insane...but damn it FEEL SOMETHING TOWARDS ME!

I just wanted to scream, "Have I really not affected you in any way that you can continue your life as if I never existed even though I'm standing right in front of you?"
 
 
Amanda
23 December 2007 @ 11:59 pm
 
 
Amanda
23 December 2007 @ 10:22 pm
Yesterday I spoke with Adam, it seems he can't get over whatever issue it is that is preventing him from fully enjoying our relationship. After breaking up for the second time I lost it. I deleted all my LJ posts, all my friends from myspace, all my friends off my AIM buddy list, etc. I am so sick of putting in all the efforts. Why should I be the one to im/txt/call first? Only TWO people of all those that were on my friends' lists imed me or messaged me to see what the heck was going on. That hurt, a lot. Thanks to the two though.

Today I had this feeling, this gut instinct that Adam and I are meant to be. I wish I could tell him that, but I'm trying to give him the space he thinks he needs. But I had to get the way I was feeling out even if he'll never know it.


Adam,

It's hard to begin this letter not knowing where to start or even if it should be started at all. Things between us have gotten so complicated. I can't begin to wonder what issue you are having that is keeping you from enjoying a relationship with me. I'm not sure what your ex-girlfriends have done to you in the past that has made you so unable to have a relationship.

All I know is how I feel. I've never felt this way for anyone before. I have every reason to dislike and not trust you because of the way you treated me. But I trust you and adore being with you more than anyone I've ever met. I can't explain it, call it intuition, but it just feels right. When we were standing there at Spartan Stadium, despite the freezing temperatures, and they showed the couple who had season tickets for 60 years, all I could think was "wow, i want that to be us." It scared me to death that two weeks after our first date that a thought like that crossed my mind. I can't tell you why I thought that. All I do know is that when I'm with you I'm happy. Anything that has gone wrong seems not to matter when I talk to or see you. You're perfect, even every flaw and crazy idea. I didn't enter this relationship wanting to spend the rest of my life with you or thinking that you'd be "the one" but I can't shake this feeling.

I can't help you with whatever problem you're having, but I'm not giving up on us, not without one hell of a fight. I hope that one day you'll feel comfortable enough with me to tell me what the problem is.



-Amanda

***********

Sigh! Merry Christmas all!
 
 
Amanda
22 December 2007 @ 02:03 pm
The Tin Man didn't know how good he had it. I wish I didn't have a heart. Where's my yellow brick road, wicked witch, and ruby red slippers? I'd love to visit the Emerald City and have the Wizard of Oz take away this bloody beating mess in my chest.